ShadowSoft Inc.
Presents:
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic side-story
Part One
"Ground Zero"
by:
Todd Hill
AKA Shadow Stalker
Based on:
Be Careful What You Wish For...
written by:
Richard Beaubien
Inspired by the "Ranma 1/2" Manga and Anime by Rumiko Takahashi
A warm spring breeze blew through the streets of the Nerima district shopping center. Today, like every other Saturday, it was full of people looking for things to buy. Ranma Saotome was among the crowd of shoppers, going to pick up some green onions for Kasumi. He was approaching the grocer's shop when his attention suddenly was diverted by a little junk shop at the corner.
Letting his curiosity get the better of him, Ranma approached the little junk store and grabbed the door handle hesitantly. Pushing on the handle, he entered the store. Melodic chimes hanging above the door rang out, announcing a new customer. As he walked into the store, he was immediately assailed by a strong odor of old books and musty furniture. His eyes swept about the place, inspecting the rows and corridors of items that crowded the store. Pictures of families from the fifties, and some pre-World War Two clothing and other relics littered the floor and walls in no discernible order. Ranma stepped over and around items and he wandered about the store, not sure if he'd find anything to suit his fancy.
A vendor dressed in a sparkling white leisure suit looked up from his place behind the counter, and watched as Ranma disappeared behind a rack of old clothes, heading towards the back of the store. Unseen by Ranma, the vendor's eyes sparkled as his gaze fell on the young martial artist. 'Yes. This may be the one,' he thought to himself as he walked around the counter to meet his customer at the back of the store.
Ranma hadn't found anything of interest, and was beginning to tire of the place. He turned around to leave when his hand bumped against an old table with catalogs and dusty music books sitting on top. Disinterestedly, he looked through the titles of the catalogs, noting the dates on the covers. He turned his attention to a stack of old manga sitting on one corner of the table, and was busy flipping through them when someone tapped him on the shoulder.
"Yahhh!" Ranma yelled, startled by the quiet approach of the vendor. His startled jolt caused several of the manga to spill to the floor.
Undisturbed by his outburst, the vendor smiled, then bowed slightly. "Anything I can help you with, kind sir?"
Ranma let his heart calm down before answering. He'd debated asking the vendor how he could've snuck up behind him without him knowing, but decided not to since the vendor appeared too spacy to be an effective threat. He scratched his head, not really sure why he was in the store to begin with. "Ummm... well, I was really just looking ..."
"... for a gift, perhaps?" the vendor completed. "For your girlfriend? We have plenty of those here," he said, gesturing to the walls and aisles of junk in the store.
Ranma grimaced, not so sure that anyone would appreciate a gift from this store. "Well... not really. To tell you the truth, I don't even know why I came here," Ranma said distractedly. He began eyeing the distant doorway, seeing if he had a viable escape path should he need it.
Adopting a sly smile, the vendor said, "Ahh! It must've been a magical attraction that brought you here, eh?" He chuckled slightly. "Say, you like magic young man?"
The mention of magic had returned Ranma's attention to the rambling vendor in the seventies getup. He frowned at the guy's question. 'No, of course I don't like magic,' he stated to himself. After Jhusenkyo, and all of the magical ambush plans by Shampoo and Cologne, he'd had his fill of magic. But instead of ranting about his life, he merely replied, "Naah. I've never really thought about it."
Undeterred, the vendor continued his spiel. "Well, we have a few items here that are 'special,' " he said, gesturing to the glass cabinet beneath the counter.
"Whattaya mean, *special?*" Ranma asked skeptically, his eyes narrowing. Anything *special* usually meant trouble for him.
"Well, the whole lot of items in this cabinet are supposed to be magical," he said, waving his hands about the display in a way that would make Vanna White proud.
Ranma couldn't help but ask. He didn't want to believe the vendor's claims, but something in his mind told him to listen. "Really? How can you tell?"
The vendor shrugged. "I can't know for sure. I never really thought to try them out. But I do have a history on a few of them." Seeing Ranma's nod, he continued. "Well, this one," he indicated a parasol from a mixed drink, "supposedly causes rain if you put it into a Gin and Tonic while drinking it under a full moon." Ranma shuddered at the thought of rain. That little gadget wouldn't give him anything but trouble. Besides, he didn't drink.
Seeing Ranma shudder, the vendor continued on to the next one, which happened to be a pair of plastic ear plugs. "This little gem is supposed to be man's best friend. Apparently, it doesn't block out all sounds. Instead it blocks out only the nagging voice of a girlfriend or wife. Great for arguments." Ranma nodded his agreement smirking at the idea of peace and quiet. But then feared his fate should Akane discover him using them and find out what they were for. Besides, Akane tended to use her fists more than her mouth when she argued. He shook his head, and urged the vendor to continue.
"And this," he said, pointing to a rather unremarkable broach sitting in the middle of the display case, "is the prize of the collection."
Ranma snorted laughter, pointing at the dusty old broach. "That old thing? You *must* be joking."
The vendor oiled his voice, smelling a sale. "Ahh, but sir, that is no ordinary broach. The original owner said that every fifty years, that broach will grant the owner two wishes."
THAT got Ranma's attention. "Wishes? Really? I mean, you're kidding, right? It can really grant wishes!?" Ranma looked over his shoulders suddenly, not wanting anyone to hear what either he or the vendor were saying. "Yes, as I said, the previous owner said it can grant 2 wishes." He turned away from the display and looked at Ranma with a downcast expression on his face, trying hard to look disappointed. "But you said that you don't really believe in magic, so I guess that this broach wouldn't be of any interest to you."
Ranma caught the vendor's arm before he could walk away. "NONO! I mean... I *could* give it to my gir.. ahh.. a friend of mine," he said quickly.
'Bingo!' thought the vendor as he took the item from the shelf. He handed it to Ranma, letting him feel it in his hands. Just as Ranma was getting comfortable holding it, the vendor took it away and replaced it in the cabinet. "Heyy..." Ranma yelled, indignant at having the item taken away.
The vendor looked him square in the eye and said, "If you want it, it'll cost you 5000 yen."
Ranma turned over the idea in his mind, grimacing at the cost. 5000 yen was a lot of money for an unemployed martial arts student. Kasumi had given him some money for the onions, and he had some on him from a rebate he got from Nabiki when she gave him bad information. Totaling it up, he had about 6000 yen on him. 'I hope Nabiki doesn't find out about this!' he thought as he fished the wad of coins and bills from his pants pocket. 'She'd hound me endlessly if she found out about this broach.' He shuddered to think of a wishing broach in Nabiki's hands. "I'll take it," he said, quickly handing the money over.
'All too easy,' the vendor thought as he exchanged the money for the broach with Ranma. Ranma took the broach from the vendor's hands and pocketed it quickly, suddenly protective of the item. "Okay, now tell me how it works," he pressed once he made sure again that no-one was around.
The vendor leaned forward over the counter, propping himself up on his elbows. "Well, it's really simple. Before you go to bed, make a wish and put the broach under your pillow. In the morning your wish will come true." Ranma smiled. 'Finally! A chance to be rid of his curse, and walk around Nerima as a man among men. It's so easy!' he thought to himself, triumphant. 'Heck! If it doesn't work, I'll just give it to Akane, or something. I can't lose!' Ranma turned to leave the store when the vendor called out to him, "One word of warning, though. I suggest saving the second wish to undo the first one just in case the first one doesn't turn out the way you want."
Ranma looked up as he opened the door, smiling. "Yeah, sure. I'll keep that in mind," he said as he exited the store.
The vendor smiled at the closed door, watching Ranma walk down the sidewalk. He clapped himself on the knee in a celebratory fashion once Ranma was out of sight. "Yes, I'm sure you will, Ranma Saotome!" he said mirthfully, laughing deeply as if getting the punchline to some cosmic joke. Then he snapped his fingers and vanished from the store.
****
Ranma had managed to pick up the green onions for Kasumi with what remaining money he'd had on him. He had to haggle with the vendor a bit before he bought the large basket of onions, and was proud of himself for doing it. Nabiki was usually the one to talk pricing, so he'd never really done it before. So he took his success with the grocer as a good omen that things would go well for him. He picked up his vegetable burden and dashed off for the Tendo dojo. He laid the basket of onions on the kitchen floor next to the eldest Tendo daughter, shouting, "HereyougoKasumi!" as he bolted for his room.
Once upstairs, he crept into his room, making sure that neither Akane nor Nabiki was watching. He slid the door closed behind him, and sat on his mat, keeping an eye on the door at all times as he fished the arcane object from the junk store out of his pocket. 'A chance to be normal,' he thought, running his thumb across the rough surface of the cheap jewelry. 'If this *really* works, I can finally enjoy my life.'
He smiled broadly, closing his eyes and imagining a life free of the curse. He gripped the broach tightly in his hand, holding it to his chest as he daydreamed about what a good life he'd have if the wish were to work.
A small voice in the back of his mind raised an objection. He'd been living with the curse long enough that a part of him had grown used to being part woman. And as much as he hated to think of it, if he kept the curse, he would have a unique perspective on life. But he stopped dwelling on that, angrily shoving all thoughts of it from his mind. How could he even think about keeping the damn curse?
As far as he was concerned, his manhood and pride were at stake. He couldn't see far enough ahead to appreciate the benefits that he could reap from his unique condition, seeing instead the assault on his masculinity that his curse represented. 'But haven't you needed the girl's body before?' a part of him asked. 'Yeah, but I wouldn't have had half of the problems that led up to me needing my girl body if I wasn't cursed in the *first* place,' he shouted back at his conscience. Sure he'd exploited the babe factor of his female body when needed, but he'd always regretted doing it afterward, since the idea of acting female threatened to loosen the paranoid grip he kept on his masculinity.
In short, Ranma was afraid that if he kept the curse much longer, he'd start to enjoy being a girl, and would probably start behaving like one, and finding guys attractive, etc...
His features contorted in agony as he imagined himself *willingly* giggling like a girl, his hand clinging to some guy's arm. He violently banished the thought from his mind. 'The sooner I'm rid of this curse, the sooner I can return to a normal life. I can't handle the weird changes that seem to be happening to me.' He opened his eyes to gaze on the broach once more. 'And if what that guy at the junk store told me was true, you have the power to fix my problems,' he thought as he turned the broach over in his hand absently.
He smiled lightly, tucking the broach in what he hoped was a secure place. 'I guess I'll find out tonight whether or not I'm really done with this curse for good.' He laughed through his nose as he imagined Akane's face when he told her tomorrow that he wasn't cursed anymore. 'Maybe she'll stop acting so angry,' he added hopefully as he stood up and walked out of his room.
He headed back downstairs quickly, hoping that his extended absence didn't raise any suspicions among either his father or Nabiki. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he knew that he had nothing to fear. He noted, as he took his customary place on the porch outside, that his father and Mr. Tendo were playing their customary game of Go. Meanwhile Nabiki was lounging on the floor, watching the TV with a passive interest, and Akane was making her standard training noises in the dojo. He leaned back against the wall of the house, relaxing and enjoying the feeling of the late afternoon sun as it played against his skin.
The remainder of the evening passed swiftly for Ranma. Eating dinner in silence, he'd managed to avoid giving anything about the wish away to anyone at the dinner table, and he only fought once with Akane. 'We may finally be getting along,' he thought to himself as he looked over at her again.
He smiled to her as their eyes met, but as usual she misunderstood the intention behind his friendly smile and frowning back at him. "What are *you* looking at, *pervert!*" she shouted defensively, tearing her gaze from him. His smile quickly vanished from his face, to be replaced by the anger he usually felt whenever Akane did that. 'Then again, maybe not,' he thought sullenly.
Looking about the room to get his mind off of Akane's attitude, he spotted the clock and noted how late it was getting. "I'm going to bed," he said softly, standing up and quietly making his way up the stairs.
Akane couldn't miss the downcast tone in his voice, and realized that she had once more stepped over the line with her knee-jerk response to her fiancee's affection. "Ranma..." she said hesitantly, holding her hand out to him. He didn't seem to hear her as he continued out of sight up the staircase. She withdrew the hand and held it against her pained heart, cursing herself all the while for her misplaced anger. Although she'd die before ever admitting it to anyone in the room, she wanted nothing more at the moment than to run upstairs to Ranma, and have him hold her as she apologized for all of the times she hurt him.
She made two hesitant attempts to get up and go after him, but something caused her to stop saying or doing anything further. Akane bigsweated as she felt every eye in the room lock onto her, awaiting her next move. Stiffly she turned away from the staircase and faced the TV again. 'I'm sorry, Ranma,' she thought to herself sadly, pretending to watch the show. Disappointed looks from the audience turned away from her as she fixed her gaze on the screen. 'Someday we're going to have to stop behaving like idiots,' she promised herself. She winced as she heard the door to his room slam shut. 'Someday soon, Ranma...'
****
An hour later, Ranma sat up in his futon, no longer pretending to be asleep. "Finally," he said in a hushed and slightly exasperated voice after hearing the last bedroom door close. It was late night at the Tendo dojo, and the sound of the closing door signaled that the last of the household had finally gone to bed. He looked over his shoulder, making sure that Genma was already asleep. He nodded to himself, hearing the blissful snoring of his father as he slept in his panda form.
Now that everyone had turned in, he felt sure that no-one would catch him trying to use the broach. Standing up quietly from his sleeping mat, he walked over to where he hid the precious item. Taking care not to make any noise, he pulled it from its secret location and gripped it tightly with his hands, seemingly desperate. 'I sure hope this works,' he thought as he closed his eyes.
Any doubts about using the wish had been swept away the moment Akane had snapped at him. 'I can't believe she still calls me a pervert. Why...' He broke off the question, wiping the argument from his mind. It was a moot point as far as he was concerned. He was very confident that the item in his hands would solve the problem. 'She'll finally respect me once I'm no longer cursed,' he told himself, sure now of what he was about to do.
'Goodbye curse,' he thought as he pulled the broach to his chest. He swept away a sudden pang of regret that he felt at losing his female form, as he thought of the proper words to say for his wish. After a moment's contemplation, the words rushed into his head and he knew what he had to say. In a soft voice, Ranma said, "I wish I never became cursed with a girl's body." His wish complete, he placed the broach underneath his pillow. Yawning widely, he curled up on his futon and went to sleep, optimistic about the morning to come.
****
Morning broke in Nerima (smash! ^_^). Rays of sunlight peeked through the window and fell on the face of a blissfully sleeping, and lightly snoring Ranma. The door slid open and a woman poked her head in the room. "Ranma-chan, wake up!!!" she called out. A small frown due to his lack of response marred an otherwise beautiful face.
Ranma recognized the voice, but in his sleep-induced torpor he wasn't quite sure who was talking to him. Besides, he didn't know of anyone that would call him 'Ranma-chan' at the Tendo Dojo anyway. Too tired to think about it, he mentally shrugged his shoulders and assumed it was his kawaiikune iinazuke taunting him. Reluctant to give up the cozy sleep he was in, he turned over on his bed, mumbling, "...nnn... g'way Akane..." Soft snoring resumed shortly after that.
A sigh could be heard in the distance, followed by the sound of a metallic rattling, causing Ranma to twitch occasionally. The clanking sound grew louder, then was suddenly replaced by a splash as a deluge of cold water hit Ranma in the face and cascaded down his body, leaving him very alert and shivering.. "I said GET UP!" a tart voice shouted at him from above. "Honestly! If you would at least get up on time I wouldn't have to do this every morning."
A very angry Ranma shot back with, "That was cold!! Why did you do that?! I'll get you, you ..." His words trailed off as he realized in complete horror who it was he was talking to. Nodoka Saotome. His mother! She knew who he was, and he was soaking wet with cold water! This wasn't good!
"MOM?!?!?" he screamed, half hysterical. His hands were instantly a blur as he searched himself for signs of breasts or other incriminating female parts. But to his astonishment, he found that he was still a male.
His face lost all expression. 'It wasn't a dream?! I'm truly not cursed anymore?!' Ranma jumped up, ran past his befuddled mother to the bathroom (once he could find it), and splashed himself repeatedly with cold water. After creating a small pool on the floor, and confirming that he was no longer cursed, he ran back into his room. 'My mother!' Ranma thought blissfully as he moved through the door to his room. 'I don't have to hide from her anymore!' With that he ran to his mother and hugged her tightly. "Oh Mom! I've missed you so much!" he said, on the verge of tears.
"Dear, you must've had a bad dream. We were all together for supper just last night, as usual. Don't you remember?" Nodoka said soothingly. She was puzzled at his statement, but didn't argue with the hug. She was all too willing to express her love for her only son. She stroked his head gently as he broke down and cried on her shoulder, holding onto her tightly.
A couple of silent moments passed before he stood back from the hug, wiping his eyes and getting himself under control again. He grinned widely as he remembered his cold water experiment. He started dancing around the room, gleefully proclaiming, "I'm a MAN! YES! No more Jhusenkyo!"
A *very* confused Nodoka watched as her son skipped about the room doing high-fives with the wall and cheering wildly. Not understanding his behavior, she walked over and grabbed hold of his arm to stop his manic rantings. "Of course you're a man, Ranma. Whatever gave you the idea that you weren't? And what's this jusu-whatsis thing you mentioned?"
His mind scrambled to figure out why she'd asked that question. 'Duh! Of course! She never knew about the curse, or the training grounds of Jhusenkyo.' Waving a hand at her, he casually replied, "Ah, it's nothin' Mom! Just a weird dream."
She let it drop, although the look she gave him clearly stated that she didn't quite believe that it was 'nothing.' "Well, whatever Ranma. You'd better get dressed soon. It's almost time for school, and you don't want to be late again. Breakfast will be waiting for you downstairs, so hurry up and get ready," she said as she walked out of his room.
'Wow! Looks like the broach really worked! I'm no longer cursed...' He stopped thinking and looked around, trying to get a feel for where he was. 'But it worked in a weird way. This isn't the Tendo home. In fact, I have no idea where I am.' He scratched his head, concern growing over the fact that he wasn't able to recognize *anything* that he saw. Another concern he had was the broach. 'I wonder if it's here...' Ranma looked under his pillow, and to his satisfaction saw that the broach had made the trip with him. Taking it out from under his pillow, he hid it in what he felt was a secure place underneath his dresser, the whole time making sure he wasn't being watched.
His stomach growled, reminding him that breakfast was awaiting him downstairs. Not one to argue with his appetite, he stood away from the dresser and walked over to his closet. Opening the closet revealed a host of dark pants and T-shirts, along with five sets of men's school uniforms. Then his gaze swept past something he'd never expect to see in his closet.
'A leather jacket?!' he thought incredulously. Turning the expensive biker's jacket over in his hands, he saw English writing on the back, but couldn't read past the "Harley-Davidson" emblem. Grimacing at the selection (or lack thereof, depending on one's perspective) of clothing, he turned back to his dresser, hoping the outcome would be better. After rummaging through all of his dresser drawers for a couple of moments, he sighed in relief when he found what he wanted to wear. Smiling, he pulled out his customary Chinese outfit, consisting of a red shirt and black pants. Thankful that he wasn't going to wear that damned school uniform that other guys had to wear, he put his clothes on with gusto.
Once dressed, he looked out his bedroom window. He was anxious to see just how much his life had changed when a thought interrupted him. 'If I'm not at the Tendo hall, then I wonder where Akane is?' He dropped the question for the moment as he heard his mother calling him down to the breakfast table. He shrugged his shoulders, figuring that he'd work on that little problem later.
****
Trying hard not to look like he was gawking, Ranma slowly panned his gaze across the richly furnished house. He liked the look, but thought that it was a bit much for a family of martial artists. 'Not that I'm complaining,' he was quick to add. Indeed, this is the kind of house that he'd dreamed of living in for many years. 'Pop must be doing fairly well to be able to afford this getup,' he thought in admiration. He leveled his gaze on the table again as Nodoka sat a tray of food down in front of him, smiling warmly. "Eat up dear. You don't have much time."
'God! This is so real!' Ranma thought, spellbound, as he wolfed down the food Nodoka sat in front of him. 'This stuff's better than Kasumi's cooking,' Ranma noted in-between gulps. He slowed his eating, savoring the taste. He'd told his Pop several times in the past about how much he'd enjoy getting a home cooked meal from his Mom, and he was right. 'Not that Kasumi's cooking isn't good, but this just tastes better to me.' He resumed his high-speed dining, banishing his morning hunger.
As he ate, something else that had been nagging at him came to mind, 'I wonder why Pop didn't wake me up for our morning practice?' Ranma finished eating and laid his empty bowl and chopsticks down on the tray. "Mom?" he yelled out towards the kitchen
"Yes dear?" Nodoka returned.
"Where's Pop?"
"Out doing his morning training with Ranko before he goes to work. Where else would he and your sister be?" With a puzzled look on her face, Nodoka emerged from the kitchen and walked to the table. With a mother's usual concern, she knelt down and put her hand on his head. "Are you sure you're okay, Ranma-chan? You know, you're acting awfully strange. Maybe you should stay home today."
Ranma was too stunned to respond to Nodoka's suggestion. He couldn't believe that he had a sister! He was also taken aback by the idea that his father actually *worked* for a living. He *blink-blinked* several times in confusion before realizing that he'd taken too long to answer his mother. He shoved aside his shock, struggling to remember what it was she'd said to him. "No, Mom. That's okay. I'll be fine," he finally said.
"My son, not wanting to stay home from school? You *must* be sick, dear," she said mirthfully.
"MOOOOM!" Ranma said, flushing red with embarrassment.
"Calm down! I was just kidding, dear," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing lightly. Her eyes widened in pleasant surprise as she noted the empty bowl. "Well, you must've been hungry today. I guess you enjoyed your breakfast?"
"Yeah, it was good," Ranma replied cheerily.
Nodoka smiled as she glanced at her son. "Ah! I'm glad to see that you're wearing the outfit I gave you last year. I had begun to think that I'd wasted my money on it."
"Well..." he replied, uncomfortably. He was going to have to watch himself around his mother. She had an attention to detail similar to Nabiki's, and unless he was careful, he'd get into a lot of trouble. He looked over at the wall clock and gasped. 'Dammit, I'm going to be late!'
Scrambling to his feet, he dashed over to the door stand. "Well, I'm off to school," he said as he put on what he assumed were his shoes.
Nodoka stood next to him to see him off, holding his bento in her hands. She gave it and his books to him, saying, "Okay dear. Here's your lunch." She kissed him on the forehead as he grabbed his stuff, and then watched the dustcloud disappear into the distance as he ran for school. 'That's odd. I've never seen him run on fencetops before,' she thought as she watched him disappear into the distance.
****
Less than two minutes into his run for school, Ranma had to stop. He wasn't his normal self. During his run from 'home' he'd noticed a couple of odd things. One, he was unusually winded from his run, almost as if he hadn't run in ages. Two, he had to stick to running on the ground, as he had fallen thrice from fence railings after losing his balance.
Pacing himself more carefully, he resumed running, although he wasn't really sure where he was going. That was until he happened upon the familiar landmark of the Tendo Dojo. 'Good,' he thought brightly to himself, happy to finally see something he recognized. 'I'll be able to walk Akane to school. She'll really flip when she sees...'
His train of thought derailed at the sight of a limousine pulling up to the front gates of the Tendo estate. 'Huh? A Limousine? Ahh! It must be for Nabiki,' he thought, dismissing the limousine for the moment. Then he saw who stepped out of it.
A very smug and austere looking Kuno stepped out and walked to the gates, calling out, "Akane-chan, time to go to school!" After a couple of minutes, the gates opened and a somewhat depressed Akane walked out. Ranma stepped back in complete confusion, not sure what was going on. Akane let loose a tired sigh, replying simply, "Coming dear."
'Coming dear?!?' Ranma tossed that one over in his head for a moment. Anger rising to the fore, he walked over to Kuno. "Hey!! You fool! Whattaya think you're doing!?!"
Kuno regarded Ranma as one would a household cockroach. "Who are you, sniveling commoner, to be addressing the great Tatewaki Kuno in such an insolent manner?" Before Ranma could answer, Kuno held up his hand to stop any response. "Ahh, but it is not important that I know who you are. And for your information, I am here to pick up my fiancee for school. Now leave us, you insouciant miscreant!!"
Ranma stared open mouthed at Kuno, not believing what he was hearing. "Fiancee?! How *dare* you claim such a thing about Akane?! She's *my* fiancee!" he shouted. He was absolutely livid, and couldn't get over Kuno's audacity. Sure that idiot had proclaimed his lust for Akane before, but this was going too far! He approached the kendoist menacingly, his hands flexing in preparation for battle.
Meanwhile, Akane gasped in shock. She looked from one man to the other in silence, trying to figure out what was going on. Ranma's proclamation of marriage stunned her, and she suddenly found a bit of worry being mixed with her heavy depression.
"You'll take her over my dead body!!" Ranma declared angrily, balling his hands into fists.
"That can be arranged, simpleton," Kuno replied, sighing as if dreading a household chore.
"What's going on Kuno-chan?" Akane asked nervously. She had an idea about what was going to happen, but she wasn't sure whether to stop the two, or let this guy take a shot at Kuno. She turned to Kuno, awaiting a response.
"Just get in the car, Akane," Kuno commanded grandly. "He's just another fool who thinks he's worthy of your love. But fear not, my dearest *wife*," Kuno emphasized the word, looking right at Ranma as he said it. "I'll dispose of this wretch quickly. He won't be bothering us again."
Akane disappeared inside the limousine, groaning in disgust and muttering "Oh, brother!" just within earshot of the two.
"I'll make you suffer for this, Kuno!" he said as he got into a fighting stance. "No-one else on this planet has the right to call Akane his wife, you arrogant bastard!"
"You may address me as Upperclassman Kuno, or Sempai. You have no right to call me by any other name," Kuno instructed calmly. "And as for calling someone arrogant, I would say that you are such. But enough! Name calling is beneath me, as are you. Prepare yourself, for the heavens are about to decry my righteous claim to the fair Akane Tendo." He raised his bokken, pointing it in Ranma's direction.
Preferring not to respond to Kuno's blathering, Ranma twisted his hips slightly and launched into a jump kick.
What happened next shouldn't have.
Ranma fully expected to connect with Kuno's face, as what usually happened when they fought However something in his body didn't seem to be responding properly, and the unsure kick was deftly blocked by the Kendo champion. "You really must think too highly of yourself if you believe that such sloppy footwork will gain you victory, knave! That attack was pathetic!!"
He panicked slightly. 'Kuno shouldn't have been able to touch that kick. What the hell's happened to me? Was the move telegraphed or something?' He didn't get a chance to think any further on the subject as Kuno's stance changed. "Now know the true meaning of pain, mongrel! Shi-ne!!" he yelled, launching his attack. Swinging outward, he slashed at Ranma with his bokken.
Ranma barely managed to dodge the initial attack, and noticed that he was very slow to react to the strike. It was as if his mind knew what to do, but his body wasn't coordinated enough to perform the moves. And that lack of coordination was beginning to tell as Kuno's attacks gained in intensity. Kuno grinned inwardly, sure of his victory, as he yelled, "STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!" with every thrust. His movements increased in frequency to the point where they were a blur. Ranma was no longer able to combat the force of Kuno's multiple swordstrokes and was thrown into the wall, where he lost consciousness.
"Let us go, Akane," Kuno proclaimed as he entered the limousine, leaving a knocked out Ranma lying in the garbage outside the Tendo Hall.
